Cold Tea
by RooOJoy
Summary: "The thought of knowing she couldn't get through that door slammed against the front of her brain; he wasn't going to let her in. This is what they had left, a burning passion to feel each other, and leave the other feeling loved in the only way that remained between them."


Disclaimer: All canon character, plots, and situations from the Harry Potter series belonging to JK Rowling. I am not profiting from this work.

Song Credit: "Say Something (I'm Giving Up On You)"

a duet by A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera.

Beta: Thank you to my beta, oblivionbaby, for her time and work on this story.

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Cold Tea

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Ginny leaned back into the pillows of the sofa, bare feet curled under her. Various pieces of parchment were littered all around her; they were covered in coloured dots that moved over the pages, creating dizzying patterns. Her next Quidditch match was this weekend, and she was hoping she could talk Harry into going to this one. It was an away match in France, and it had been so long since they had taken a short holiday together. She was hoping they could reconnect and talk about their relationship, and how they could work at making things better.

He was always working, and she spent a fair amount of time herself either at practises or matches. The guilt of how much time their careers took away from their relationship plagued her, but she wasn't going to give up hers, and she damn well knew that Harry had no intention of giving up his; it was hard enough to get him to take a bloody night off to just have dinner with her. Ginny had already prepared and eaten her dinner alone as she did most nights.

She was impatiently waiting for him to get home. He was late; not that it was an odd occurrence. He frequently was the first one to arrive at the office, and the last one to leave in the evening. She reminded herself that being an Auror was an important job, and with the title of 'Chosen One' Harry was typically given jobs that a normal two year rookie wouldn't even be glanced at for taking on. It was so hard to remind herself of what Harry was out to prove. He wanted to show the Wizarding community that he wasn't just some kid that was meant to take down the greatest Dark wizard of his time; he wanted to prove that his talents were his own and that he could gain a name without the scar.

She sighed and ran her hand through her hair, pulling the flyaway strands back. Why was she always the only one to reach out? He never made an effort to show her that he cared anymore. Those sweet memories of him bringing her home chocolate, or sending her a note during the day that said simply, _I love you_ \- those things never happened anymore. Even when she tried desperately to gain his attention, he turned her away.

 _Her heels echoed against the marble floor of the Ministry, and she smiled warmly at many of the workers as she made her way to Harry's office. When she rounded the corner and into his cubicle, he was sitting on the edge of his desk laughing as Ron told some story. His eyes met hers, and shock ran over his features._

" _Ginny, what are you doing here?"_

" _I thought it would be fun to surprise you, and take you to lunch. It's been awhile since we did something fun and spontaneous."_

 _Harry's green eyes stared at her, but for the first time she couldn't tell what was going on behind them - it was like he was hiding his thoughts from her behind a locked door. He pushed away from the desk and grabbed her lightly by the elbow, guiding her down a hall to a quiet corner._

" _Gin, I've already had lunch, but thanks for surprising me. I'll tell you what, I will leave early and be home for dinner. Sound okay?"_

 _Ginny's shoulders slumped, and she stuck out her bottom lip, pouting. Harry was the only person that saw her in this vulnerable state. Any other person and she would have hauled them up and given them no option of saying no to her. And she sure as fuck would never pout in front of anyone else._

 _Harry rolled his eyes at her childlike display, creating a hurt that she didn't know he could bring to the surface, but she conceded hoping that it was just her being too sensitive. "Okay, Harry, I'll make your favourite and have it on the table at six. Don't be late!"_

She remembered the burning in her cheeks as she walked through the Ministry towards the Floo after that encounter. He was late for dinner that evening, and she never tried to do something like that again for fear of being rejected. She was so angry and ashamed at the memory that it brought her to her feet, and she paced the room.

Whether he didn't care, or he had simply stopped loving her, she didn't know. Her stomach churned and turned into knots at the prospect of even knowing an answer to those questions. Then the dark voice sounded against her anger, and she felt guilt whisper its song into the mix. She should feel shame for even being angry with him. She shouldn't expect him to send her love notes anymore or do random fun things with her. He was working to provide for them. He was making a name for himself, and she should stand next to his side with love and adoration.

A sound on the wall brought her attention to the clock that hung there. The face of Harry on the clock-hand began to move from 'Work' to 'Travelling'. Ginny ceased her pacing and sat back down to tidy the space in front of her. Using her wand to make neat stacks of the plays she was going over, she was so busy binding them together and shoving them inside her satchel that she didn't notice the hand on the clock move from 'Travelling' to 'Home'.

Their front door swung open, banging harshly against the wall with an echoing _thwak_. Ginny was momentarily stunned, dropping her bag and looking towards the open door. Harry stepped over the threshold, robes covered in muck, hair standing out in all angles, and his green eyes dark as emeralds, lust pouring over his features. His eyes roamed across the room, finally locking on her, and she let the shiver of desire roll over her, gooseflesh erupting across her skin.

Within five long strides, he was towering in front of her and pulling her up to him. His mouth crashed against hers, demanding entrance as he swiped his tongue harshly over her lips. Ginny responded eagerly, granting him access and moaning into his parted lips. He clawed his hands down her sides to find the skin under her shirt, fingers gripping her flesh hard as he moved from her mouth down her jaw to the sensitive spot at the base of her neck. Ginny threw her head back, giving him full access as he sucked and bit, eliciting the most satisfying of feelings inside her. His fingers fumbled with the hem of her shirt, and she pushed his hands away to pull it roughly over her head. Forcefully removing his cloak and jumper, she pressed her naked chest against his, kissing him greedily while hungrily raking her hands over his shoulders and down his back.

Their tongues tangled together, each demanding dominance and neither succeeding. Harry's hands roamed over her flesh to the back of her flannel bottoms, nails digging into her taut cheeks, pulling her against his hardened length. Both of them moaned at the gratifying sensation, and she reached up to thread her hands through his black locks, nails scratching his scalp as she grabbed a fistful of hair, pulling his face away from hers. She met his eyes, and for one split second, she noticed the dancing light reflecting in his; the one that she remembered from what seemed like ages ago - the one that she yearned to have focused on her - but then it was gone, hidden behind the door that was now always locked. Her heart felt like lead attempting to beat against her ribs, and she closed her eyes, letting him kiss up her neck and suckle her jawline. The thought of knowing she couldn't get through that door slammed against the front of her brain; he wasn't going to let her in. This is what they had left, a burning passion to _feel_ each other, and leave the other feeling loved in the only way that remained between them.

He was kissing her again, tongue dancing along with hers. The musky scent of cedar and bergamot - the scent of the man that she loved - overwhelmed her senses, and she let the thoughts slip away to be replaced with raw physical need. Reaching down, she palmed his cock through the thin material, pressing against it firmly. She pulled away from his mouth, breathing hard as she unclasped his trousers and pushed them down to the floor. Kneeling in front him, she looked up letting the churning desire in his face spur her on. She licked her thumb and ran it firmly over the smooth flesh of his throbbing manhood, wrapping her fingers around him she stroked up and down and across his head. He shuddered, and she licked her lips before leaning forward to touch her mouth to him. She ran her tongue in a circle over his tip, teasing him before dragging her wet mouth down the length of his shaft. Relaxing her throat, she took him fully, letting her tongue guide her path up and down. She was encouraged to move faster as his hands wound themselves into her hair gently directing the rhythm. She could feel him pulse against the inside of her jaws and she stopped just before his release.

He pulled her to feet, kissing her as if she was air and he was drowning. He was everywhere, taking from her what he needed selfishly, and she stole from him just as easily. Her back hit the wall, and he ran his fingers under the elastic of her pants and pushed them down as she wiggled her feet out of the holes. His fingers found her swollen mound and she rubbed herself against his palm unashamedly as he dragged his fingers over her clit. When his finger dipped into her dripping core she screamed his name. He pumped one finger, then two, faster and harder, all the while running his tongue over every expanse of her flaming flesh.

"I need you, now. I can't wait any longer," he murmured in her ear before nipping at her lobe, the words eliciting an aching urgency for more of him.

Grabbing her thigh, he pulled it up against his hip, and gripped her arse to the perfect angle before entering her in one full thrust. She pulled her other leg up, intertwining her ankles around Harry's back, and wrapping her arms around his neck. He panted against her neck as beads of sweat dripped between their slicked bodies. He pumped hard and fast, deep and determined, until her cries became loud and uncontrolled. She could feel her release coming, and she let herself fall over the edge, the waves of her orgasm crashing around her. Two more thrusts and Harry shivered against her, pressing her against the wall as the pulse of his cock throbbed against her folds. His grip on her ass slackened, and he lowered her legs slowly to the floor.

"I love you," she whispered against his heaving chest, as he worked to regain his breathing.

"I...love...you...too," he panted automatically, eyes still closed with his head resting on her shoulder.

With a last deep breath she pushed away from the wall and pulled on her bottoms, followed by her shirt. The man standing in their lounge had a hollow look in his eyes. She knew he didn't see her now, he needed his space. "Go on, take a shower, you look like you've been trying to catch a Niffler who found gold in the rubbish bin. I'll make us some tea, and you can tell me why you felt the need to ravish me so thoroughly just now," Ginny teased, as she guided him by the hand through the room and down the hall.

"Thanks Gin," Harry responded sullenly, eyes downcast and shoulders slumped. He looked exhausted, dark circles smudging his cheeks and lids rimmed in red. She knew that meant he was in for a restless night. His nightmares would leave him tossing and turning until he would wake himself dripping in a cold sweat, only to shower and leave for work in the early hours of the morning.

Pursing her lips together at his lack of banter, she turned the tap on, waiting for the swirling steam to rise to the ceiling before adjusting the cold to make the perfect temperature. She guided his already naked body to the edge, and brushed her lips against his cheek as he moved past her to step into the tub. He didn't meet her eyes, and he didn't speak to her; he was just a shell of himself, and Ginny was amiss at what to do. She would follow him anywhere. She would go to the ends of the world and back for this man, but where was the man she had fallen so hard for? Where had his life turned so that he wasn't the same anymore, and when did he lock her out? Where would she have to go to get him to come back?

"Come find me when you're done, Harry."

Ginny exited the room without an answer from Harry, and turned to make her way to the kitchen. Charming the kettle to heat, she let the rolling images of their past play snippets across her lids.

The sweet moments at the Burrow where they would hide under the swaying willow tree to snog like the teenagers they were. Their first time together that was filled with love and passion. The first time he whispered 'I love you'. The way he held her hand under that table at dinner. The way he laughed when she played jokes on everyone in the room but him. The way he cheered at her matches when she first joined the Harpies… Even the dark moments like the way he held her and cried as they buried their loved ones.

But then the moments became fewer in between and she thought back on the memory that could have changed it all. She knew that if she had a Time-Turner she would go back and fight harder.

" _Gin, I'm going to be an Auror. Kingsley just offered me a job in training!" Harry beamed, eyes alight with excitement that she hadn't seen since they won the house cup._

" _But what about N.E.W.T.s? What about returning for your last year of school with me?" she questioned, her heart aching at the very thought of being separated once again from him._

 _He reached out and pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her. "It'll only be nine months, and we'll be able to see eachother every holiday. I'll come visit you on Hogsmeade weekends, and we'll write each other everyday. It'll go by fast, and before you know it we will be together; you and me. I promise."_

 _She let herself sink into his embrace, letting his scent waft over her, taking her worries with it. "You and me. Forever." He smiled at her, green eyes dancing with love and life for their future, and bent down to kiss her gently._

The kettle whistled pulling her from her memory. She poured the boiling water into a cup and added a tea bag. She remembered that day, and it made her heart ache. She should have known that his insistence to take up Kingsley's offer was a clue to how much Harry sought to prove himself at any expense. She should have fought harder, she should have told him she needed him, and he needed some time to let the weight of the past seven years go.

Harry was still in the shower - she could hear it running - so she sat down at their tiny table next to the kitchen window and looked out at the night sky as she dunked the tea bag into the water. The stars were never as bright here in London as they were at the Burrow, and they were nothing like they were at Hogwarts.

 _Ginny sat on the Astronomy Tower cold floor, knees pulled up against her chest. Her arms wrapped around her legs as she looked out into the dark, frozen, night sky. Her tears had long since stopped, but the throbbing pain in her chest wouldn't pass. A worn piece of parchment was held between her hands. She lifted it, reading the contents for what must have been the hundredth time._

Gin,

Training is so intense and we're getting on really well. I won't be able to make it this weekend. We're just so busy and I need to use the time to catch up on things.

Write more later, the guys want to go to the pub.

Love,

H

 _She raised her wand and cast a simple spell, vanishing the letter into nothingness. This wasn't the first letter like this. It was January, and the letters started getting shorter and shorter a couple months past. Then, they started only coming every other day, and last week, she only got one which was full of apologies and excuses of 'being busy'. She sighed deeply and set her chin on her knees, losing herself in the wide expanse of the night sky, wishing upon every shooting star that once they were together again all of this would change._

Ginny cradled the warm mug in her palms, relishing in the heat that scorched her skin. The bouncing tea bag sloshed water against the sides, and she blew on the tea and took a small sip. Things did get better once she graduated. She came home and the excitement of being together again overshadowed all else for awhile. The flutters in her stomach at seeing him walk into the Burrow kitchen for dinner came every single day. He would stay late into the evening and they would take walks all over the grounds surrounding the Burrow. These were her favourite memories of their time together. When Ron and Hermione announced they were moving in together a few weeks into the summer, Harry asked her to come live with him, and it was like a dream come true. The honeymoon phase didn't last long though, and the evenings that Harry made it home in time for dinner became sporadic at best.

The shower turned off, and she stood to pour some tea for Harry. She heard the bathroom door open and the drawers of their dresser creak as Harry found some clothes. She waited for him to come to the kitchen, but he didn't.

Grabbing both mugs of hot tea, she padded down the hallway to their bedroom. The door was open, and she could see Harry lying atop of the duvet in nothing but his boxers. He was asleep on his front, dripping hair covered his face. Ginny leaned into the door frame, letting the jamb support her limbs. The cold wood was soothing against her flushed skin as she worked hard to push away the demons calling out her name and crawling up her spine to lodge their rants inside her skull. The dark shadows scratched gouges into her soul, filling the empty crevices with hurt and pain that she couldn't turn against. She closed her eyes attempting to rid the thoughts, only to drown in them as images of painful memories washed over her. The pain was too much; her heart stopped beating, and her stomach turned to lead. The uncontrolled sob erupted from her, and she backed away from the door, slowly sliding down the wall to sit on the hard floor, the two cups of tea abandoned at her sides.

" _Harry, you can't go on this assignment. We had plans; it's my birthday!" Ginny yelled as tears streamed down her cheeks._

" _I'm sorry, Gin, really I am, but when your boss asks you to do something, you do it. You wouldn't understand."_

 _His words were like an ice bath to her heart, and she wiped away the tears furiously as she charged forward, finger poking him hard in the chest. "Listen here, Harry Potter! You don't get to do that to me. I do understand, and I have understood for years. You are not everyone's bloody hero. You can have a life too. I deserve to share that life with you."_

 _Harry had the grace to look guilty, and hung his head before looking up to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry, Gin. I've got to go. I'll make it up to you, I promise."_

Tears streaked down her face as she fought to gain control of her breathing. She rocked back and forth, staring through the open door in front of her at the man she loved. His foot twitched and she wondered if it was in response to her cries only feet away. When he didn't rise or make a sound, she knew in that moment, that all those promises were empty and broken. She had tried so hard and for so long to get to him; to help him and be there for him. It hadn't been enough, and when was it going to stop? It wasn't going to stop. Harry was never going to stop being the 'Chosen One'. It's all he knew, and she wasn't strong enough to show him differently. It was time, she was shoving away her pride; she was giving up. She needed to live her life too, and it wasn't going to be in regret while she waited for Harry to see her and let her in.

She breathed in deeply through her nose and stood, not even noticing as she spilled her mug of now cold tea with her foot. She rummaged through their closet, throwing random clothes into a bag and summoning her toothbrush and hair brush. Her body was shaking, and her heart was racing. The streaks on her cheeks still damp only to have a new tear leak from the corner of her eye and drop to the floor. She approached Harry; he was sleeping soundly, but every minute or so his body would twitch, and his face would change and turn hardened. She brushed the wet hair from his forehead, noticing the beads of sweat already forming over his brow, and she leaned down to kiss him gently.

"I'm sorry, Harry," she whispered as a new wave of tears splashed over the bed.

Ginny stood there taking deep breaths, attempting to calm the flood of emotions coursing through her body. Harry still didn't wake, or he unconsciously chose not to, even as the uncontrollable shaking of her body reverberated against the mattress as her legs leaned against it. Finally, the sobs reigned in, she turned to leave. At the door she looked back over her shoulder, a single tear hanging onto her lashes. "Say something… Please, don't let me go," she whispered, knowing that he wouldn't wake. His eyes fluttered, and he rolled over onto his side, sighing, fast asleep. The lone tear ran down her cheek, and she turned from the room, making footprints of cold tea down the hallway as she left.


End file.
